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13 June 2010 @ 09:21 pm
A third look at the Bree Tanner story  
Welcome to the third part, where Diego and Bree become ninjas, pecking gives delusional girl an orgasm and we have vampire bitch fight.

    On the last recap we saw  Diego sparkling and Bree being all nervous about it. I have to say this girl is a coward. She talks big at the beginning of the story but all she ever does is cower. And that would be fine as a flaw, except for the fact I don’t think Meyer meant to create that flaw.

    Anyhow, Bree goes out into the light and sparkles and is dazzled by the sight of Diego:

Diego grinned at me, his face beautiful with light, and suddenly, with a deep lurch in my stomach, I realized that the whole BFF thing was way off the mark. For me, anyway. It was just that fast.
His grin softened a little bit into just the hint of a smile. His eyes were wide like mine. All awe and lights. He touched my face, the way he’d touched my hand, as if he was trying to understand the shine.
“So pretty,” he said. He left his hand against my cheek.
I’m not sure how long we stood there, smiling like total idiots, blazing away like glass torches. The inlet was empty of boats, which was probably good. No way even a mud-eyed human would have missed us. Not that they could have done anything to us, but I wasn’t thirsty, and all the screaming would have ruined the mood. 

    Notice how this is all her. She fell in love improbably fast on her own. I can buy that he’s really just examining her because:

    1) Even though it was through stupid means, Diego has shown curiosity over their nature. First he stares at how he looks, and then grabs Bree since looking at somebody else with the same condition will let you examine it better.
    2) Their relationship has been sweet, in a way, but not romantic. Diego has been consistently kind, in a way, with sprinkles of jackass and childishness. Bree’s the one having all these ideas and fantasies from the get go (which is also consistent with her character; she’s a bit crazy).

    I feel tempted to make a fic in Diego-vision of this seen. And give me credit, I didn’t even bust the “Diego is just admiring her like nice jewelry” excuse.
    After that Bree asks him if they should confront Riley about it being more on the offensive side while Diego is unsure about how to feel about everything. They then decide to look for their friends while being “ninjas”. What results is those two playing around like 10 year olds and I do find it cute (if you take away all the “PITY ME!!” comments Bree throws around about circumstance we have never really seen). It reminds me of the way I goof around with my friends: running around, joking, laughing, throwing rocks at each other (well, we don’t do that last one). It’s all very BFF-- unromantic, sweet and platonic.
    Finally they find their crew and Bree starts to freak about speaking to Riley about what they discovered. Diego tries to reassure her that Riley is cool and Bree gives up to avoid upsetting her new friend. And the whole thing is hilarious to me since I read it like this:

“I don’t think we should tell Riley,” I said. “Let’s say we spent all day in your cave before we went looking for them.” As I spoke, my paranoia started to grow. “Better yet, let’s tell them your cave was filled with water. We couldn’t even talk.”  (Let me test the waters before I shout how much I don't trust Riley)
“You think Riley’s a bad dude, don’t you?” he asked quietly after a minute. As he spoke, he took my hand. (Bree, are you doubting my boyfriend?!)
“I don’t know. But I’d rather act like he was, just in case.” I hesitated, then said,  “You don’t want to think he’s bad.” (Holy crow, I think I made my new boyfriend angry)
“No,” Diego admitted. “He’s kind of my friend.(except that we sex the mornings away)  I mean, not like you’re my friend. (because we are super ninja rainbow BFFs and I will never sex you up) ” He squeezed my fingers. “But more than anyone else. I don’t want to think…”(that the man I gave my heart, soul and virginity is a giant douchebag) Diego didn’t finish his sentence.
I squeezed his fingers back. “Maybe he’s totally decent. Our being careful doesn’t change who he is.” (I guess it's bros before hos with this one)

Which brings up how all Riley talks are being handled so far. Bree doesn't trust the guy and is afraid of him (Oh, but she's afraid of everyone) and it's Diego who insists in blindingly trusting him. All convos pretty much read like this:

Bree: Diego, I have too say something about Riley.
Diego: What? Isn't he just dreamy?
Bree: Dreamy? (Huh, I guess since Riley is Diego's savior he has him in high esteem) Yes, he's dreamy but also...
Diego: *glare* Bree? Don't you trust him?
Bree: *totally pussies out* I think he's ok and deserves the benefit of the doubt.
Diego: Good! I agree! If you ask me this is all HER fault. She's using him!
Bree: Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.

They decide to let that be that and just be ninjas for now. Bree doesn't want everyone to find out they get along because that obviously= revolution and in revolutions people loose their heads. Diego is cool with this plan and gives her a nice farewell before going in:

He ducked close and kissed me—just a peck, but right on the lips. The shock of it zinged through my whole body. Then he said, “Let’s do this,” and headed down the side of the mountain toward the source of the raucous noise without looking back.
Already playing the part. 

    I am so amused by this “Surprise-- disappointment, delusion” moment. Because that’s what this is. Diego didn’t kiss her, he pecked her good bye before not speaking for a while. Now, I know in America, depending where you are from and background, it might be different for you, but in my experience as a latina being pecked is not so out of left field. I’ve been kissed like that before by friends. Heck, I’ve been more “intimate” (snuggling, nuzzling, sleeping on laps as my hair is being touched) and it’s all platonic. That’s not to say all latinos are like that, but a lot of us are very huggy-kissy people. And this is completely relevant because Diego is latino and, while we don’t know his background, it wouldn’t be out of character for him to be as affectionate as me and my friends are. He has so far: high fived Bree, leaned in towards her, held her hand when she was feeling distressed, and played around with his new friend-- all things I do with my friends. The fact that this is him saying good bye, and acts like this is reflex (you don’t hear him blush, or get tongue-tied about it and leaves the scene being casual about it) just reinforces my belief.
    And man, is Bree in it full force. The character is annoying, but I can’t help but feel a tiny bit bad for her because she constantly feels like burying herself in the scraps of affection she receives. If Meyer had shown her miserable life I would take this as a result of years of abuse.
    So our heroes go inside the house and the bitchfights of all bitchfghts start. Diego starts by punning “ Trying to lose me, losers?” he asked.  ” and Raoul and his crew are not impressed and clearly want to mess him up. Bree hides behind Freaky Fred and his shield of stink. Raoul sees her and decides to kill her along side his rival to get rid of the evidence and Diego stands up for his new BFF. He then brings in the pain by telling Raoul “We don’t get extra points for being morons.”  
    Wow, Diego must be crazy-strong to survive with insults like that. (While I commend Meyer for not bringing in “yo mamma” smack downs, I have to say she should not consult her kids for insults. We are too close to “I’m rubber and you’re glue territory here). But then the story jumps from completely lame to completely slashy-awesome:

“Interesting attitude you got, Diego. You think that Riley likes you so much he’s gonna care if I kill you. I think you’re wrong. But either way, for tonight, he already thinks you’re dead.” 

    Dammit Raoul, don’t you know you don’t taunt the hero with his one true love!
    But things get better as this turns into shipping wars:

I could hear the others moving. Some probably to back Raoul up, others just getting out of the way. 

    I usually stay out of shipping wars too. Sadly no vamp seems to ship Riley/Diego and that’s canon.
    Bree starts going “Oh, we are doomed. I suck at fighting and they are sure to burn us” as she cowers. Diego, on the hand is cool as a cucumber and tells Raoul off:
Diego’s voice was calm when he answered. “You’re really that afraid to take me on alone? Typical.” (Man, you suck).
Raoul snorted. “Does that ever work? I mean, besides in movies. Why should I take you on alone? I don’t care about beating you. I just want to end you.” 

    Woot! I’m almost a Riley/Raoul shipper. Yes, Diego, I know you love him more, but you are being lame. And it displeases me that Meyer knows such truth and yet makes all these ridiculously flat bad guys. There's no excuse for that!
     Anyway, they stand by sides, making faces and growling. O-kay, gang kids are standing around pretty much making jazz hands at each other instead of really fighting.  When did this become West Side Story?

(Truly these are ferocious creatures of the night)
    Well, nothing happens because Freaky Fred comes in, farts and things turn too awkward to keep fighting. The poor guy can’t sit around being naughty with all this ruckus. Bree is grateful and spends the next paragraph thinking about how to steer away from Raoul. She’s very submissive (so much for strong newborn vampires) and refuses to look at anyone, Diego included to not upset anyone. Bree focuses on Freaky Fred instead and we get how silent and gross he is and I’m digging this guy.  I think it’s because Meyer hasn’t ruined him by giving him dialogue.
    Riley finally shows up and goes over to Diego “right away ” and they are very chummy together and Bree refuses to watch so it’s up to our imagination how they say this dialogue:

"I heard you made it back,” Riley said,  sounding genuinely pleased. “I can always count on you, Diego.”
“No problem,” Diego said in a relaxed voice. “Unless you count holding my breath all day as a negative.”
Riley laughed. “Don’t cut it so close next time. Set a better example for the babies.”
Diego just laughed with him. 
    See, that was flirty. No ninjas, secret handshakes or BFF clubs. That was playful banter and you know Riley is leaning as he tells him this and Diego is loving it as Raoul is playing video games seething and planning his revenge.
    And this drives Bree to question her relationship with Diego, because she hasn’t done that in a while:

Maybe Riley listened to Diego more than I realized. I wondered whether that was why Raoul had gotten crazy before. Was it a good thing if Diego was that in with Riley after all? Maybe Riley was okay. That relationship didn’t compromise what we had, did it? 

    I have nothing to say to that. All I could say about that I have said a thousand times. But really, can you blame me for thinking they are a couple behind the main character’s back when we get stuff like that?
    Bree’s mind goes back to Freaky Fred and how she leaves books for him. She’s not sure if he reads then, but seeing as he keeps his stink at bay for her I’m guessing this shows how this “Beauty and the Beast” friendship got formed. Fred likes the free stuff and the pretty company (she’s the main character in a Meyer novel, you know she as pretty as she is useless) and Bree likes hiding, which she just kindly reminds us again. (Are we in  another circle?)
    Thank goodness things get hilarious for me again because Bree starts wondering if Diego is ignoring her as thoroughly as she is, worried if anybody suspects anything of their planning (Um, why?). I can just picture her wondering if Riley asked him to his chambers for "questioning". And this place is super noisy and she’s not moving an inch or looking around as she’s stressing, so lord knows what methods he would employ. 

I’m stopping here for the night. Tune in next time as we discover that there are other girl vampires besides Bree and Victoria.

Feeling: gigglygiggly
aikateriniaikaterini on June 15th, 2010 02:03 pm (UTC)
And here I thought that the Cullens vs. James, Victoria, and Laurent were supposed to be the epic "West Side Story" face-off. XD