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06 August 2010 @ 10:01 am
The host, chapter 10 (part 2)  
In which Wanderer and Melanie travel through the desert.


You know guys, I can deal with bad stories and horrible characters if it amuses me. I’m a huge fan of the “so bad that it’s good” concept. I just finished the first two chapters of Evermore and didn’t hated it because it made me giggle in its badness, I love both animated Titanic movies, Starcrash is awesome and Bree Tanner is a great comedy until it gets to canon. And I’m not alone with this—MST3k anyone? That being said, I hate it when something is boring and stupid and that’s “The host” chapter 10 part 2.

You want a closer look at how dull this is? I recommend watching the beginning of Manos: hands of fate. Both trips make me fall asleep.


(Lord is that boring or what? -_-)


And what isn't dull is the same repetitive crap of always:

1) We would probably have to walk, and all too soon for my taste, but when that time came, I doubted it would satisfy her. I could feel the real desire beneath the surface. Freedom. To move her body to the familiar rhythm of her long stride with only her will for guidance. For a moment, I allowed myself to see the prison that was life without a body. To be carried inside but unable to influence the shape around you. To be trapped. To have no choices.
I shuddered and refocused on the rough road, trying to stave off the mingled pity and horror. No other host had made me feel such guilt for what I was. Of course, none of the others had stuck around to complain about the situation.

Now I know some people are thinking: “Wait Shaolina, how is that fail? After all it shows that Wanderer is starting to maybe change her mind.” And to that I say yeah, but look when this is done! Melanie told her where humans are, yet Wanderer doesn’t consider her as a person since she just shakes it off. This would have been more effective if it had happened before this road trip and opened Wanderer to communicate with Melanie.

Also, that second paragraph annoys the crap out of me. So much for kind and selfless! After all the “We are preventing wars and saving you guys” nonsense she has spewed at me, she now acts like this? B.S.!

2) I imagined the Seeker right at this moment, as the sun touched the dark, zigzagging line of the western horizon. What would she think when I didn’t arrive in Tucson? A spasm of glee made me laugh out loud. Melanie also enjoyed the picture of the Seeker’s furious irritation. How long would it take her to go back to San Diego to see if this had all been a ploy to get rid of her? And then what steps would she take when I wasn’t there? When I wasn’t anywhere?


Yeah, the Seeker annoyed is so funny. It’s not like she would notice that you aren’t coming and get worried. And why would she? It’s not like she’s been telling you that she suspects Melanie is taking over you. And even if she thinks that, it’s not like she’s part of an organization designed to track targets down and deal with them. You know, targets like you and eventually Jared and Jamie. It’s not like she could deduce Melanie took over you and tried to go home through the desert and she could comb the area to see if there are humans out there even if you die by exposure. So please just shrug it off completely.


3) Look, a dry wash. It’s wide enough for the car—let’s follow it,Melanie insisted.
I’m not sure we’re supposed to go that way yet.
It will be dark soon and we’ll have to stop. You’re wasting time!She was silently shouting in her frustration.
Or saving time, if I’m right. Besides, it’smytime, isn’t it?
She didn’t answer in words. She seemed to stretch inside my mind, reaching back toward the convenient wash.
I’m the one doing this, so I’m doing it my way.
Melanie fumed wordlessly in response.
Why don’t you show me the rest of the lines?I suggested.We could see if anything is visible before night falls.
No,she snapped.I’ll do that part myway.
You’re being childish.
Again she refused to answer. I continued toward the four sharp peaks, and she sulked.


Way to get her to trust you Wanderer by throwing right into her face how you took over her body and it’s your time now. Cherry on top on: calling her childish for insisting on keeping the information to herself after that display of power over her. Truly you are the best agent that wonderfully kind race of alien bugs has to offer.

Also, Melanie, do you see now why telling her about where the other humans were was a bad idea? You don’t control her and barely influence her since she was assigned to find out the same info you gave her for no reason! Wanderer won't even take the path you tell her to, even though you are the expert on the desert! Yet you keep going along with this. This is stupid!



(They both deserve to get lost and die in the desert.)



Now if you excuse me I have to find a way to wake up from this extremely dull nightmare.

(Chapter 11)
 
 
Feeling: boredbored
 
 
 
zelda_queenzelda_queen on August 6th, 2010 05:15 pm (UTC)
Hang in there! It looks like Meyer got bored for this part of the story. I'm sure things will pick right back up once Jared the god-like shows up again. XD

And "both" animated Titanic movies? Did you know they made a sequel to "The Legend of the Titanic"? And that it's on YouTube? It involves living toys, evil rats, merpeople, and Atlantis. XD
Miss Shaolinashaolina on August 6th, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
I was so bored I was willing to have Ford back into the story. Yeah, I was that desperate! So even Malibu Edward would be a blessing at this point.

Yeah, both. XD Double on "The legend of the Titanic." The guy was a panty-sniffing creep who did nothing for an hour and flying dolphins communicating via the power of rainbow colored tears. XD Plus a racially insensitive mouse and people coming back from the dead. How can I not love that movie? I was laughing so hard I turned purple.

And a titanic movie with Atlantis? That sounds like the kind of time wasting nonsense I love to make fun of. Sign me up! Now I know how I can wake up my brain.
zelda_queenzelda_queen on August 6th, 2010 06:16 pm (UTC)
"The guy was a panty-sniffing creep who did nothing for an hour"

Oh my God, I think you just channeled my friend. XD I got her to watch the movie with me, since we're trying to start doing our own online reviews. When the guy asks the girl "May I have this dance?" her response was "No! Get away from me, you glove-sniffing creep!" I, meanwhile, referred to the dude as Edward Cullen. XD

And yes, it got a sequel. And it is utterly, utterly ridiculous. It's in English, starting here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gOZm7R0qmU&feature=related. And no, I have no idea why it was named after the ocotopus. I think the real title is "In Search of the Titanic", although there's precious little of that going on either.

The Czech version is also uploaded, if you're interested ^^: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T_XdiAioHQ&feature=related

Miss Shaolinashaolina on August 6th, 2010 06:24 pm (UTC)
I was actually thinking of doing online reviews too. I have my own camera and just need a bigger memory stick. I already know where I'll start. Where do you plan on publishing yours?

I just found it (and I think I saw a comment by you, it had the same name as you). It's downloading as we speak. Totally looking forward to it. Yay!
zelda_queenzelda_queen on August 6th, 2010 06:51 pm (UTC)
Really? What are you going to review? My friend and I are doing a myriad of movies, mostly silly ones like this or the Twilight films. I was thinking on YouTube, though that's kind of finicky. The folks on Channel Awesome use blip.com, so maybe that would work instead.

Yeah, probably was my comment. XD I'm sure you'll love it, it cures boredom for certain. XD
Miss Shaolinashaolina on August 6th, 2010 07:01 pm (UTC)
I was thinking some of my games which feature female protagonists since one of the arguments my friends have giving me about how great FF13 is is the fact the protagonist is a female (Which is not even really true. Also other things that I'm told I should like "just because I'm a girl."

I was also thinking blip since I wouldn't then have to splice it and post it in my blogger account since I called it double sporks (one for written and other for audiovisuals).

And dude, mermaids... WTF?! XD
zelda_queenzelda_queen on August 7th, 2010 01:11 am (UTC)
Sounds good. I can't wait to see how that turns out, when it does. ^_^

Yes, mermaids XD I take it you've already seen the rapping shark.
Miss Shaolinashaolina on August 7th, 2010 01:38 am (UTC)
Yeah. XD Then again with my voice... Hmm, maybe I should do a testrun.

Yeah, although I'm disappointed. This was totally made on drugs, yet not asd fun to make fun off. I prefer the first movie so far. That one had more set ups for jokes, bad CG, a rip off Cinderella and Ice frisbee.
zelda_queenzelda_queen on August 7th, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
Eh, don't worry about your voice. I sound like a weepy little boy. ^^; Every time I hear a recording of myself talking, I want to die. XD

Yeah, it doesn't have the Cameron rip-off fail. Still, its very existence is WTF-worthy. XD
Miss Shaolinashaolina on August 7th, 2010 03:07 am (UTC)
Iknow the feeling. XD I sound like a high pitched chihuahua with an accent plus English is my second language. Still I'll see what I can do. If you make yours, you will post it in livejournal, right?

It's crazy-amusing. XD
zelda_queenzelda_queen on August 7th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC)
Certainly I will! It could technically be a spork-variation. And you have to tell me when you post yours. ^^